Thoughts From a Foolish Golf Course Superintendent

Better a low-budget pasture with peace and quiet than a ‘top ten’ course filled with arrogance and strife. [1/2/13]

A hog farmer enjoys his own farm, but despises the slightest odor from another man’s farm; so it is with a prideful and arrogant Superintendent. [1/1/14…Happy New Year]

Never withhold words of compassion or tenderness or love for lack of eloquence or convenience; sometimes, the purest, most endearing and encouraging thoughts reveal themselves as fumbling and bumbling words. [12/31/13]

A misguided Superintendent buries his head in the internet; he will not even bring it out to look at the turf. [12/30/13]

Six things on a golf course are never satisfied and seven never say, ‘Enough’:

– localized dry spot towards water;
– gypsy moths towards green leaves;
– turfgrass disease towards moisture and humidity;
– golfers toward discounts and course conditions;
– staff members towards raises;
– young golf pros, who are never satisfied with green speed;
– and, owners, who never say you have worked, ‘Enough.’ [12/29/13]

Six things a Superintendent should strive to experience and seven he must:

– overseed in the desert southwest;
– preparing for a PGA tour event;
– constructing and establishing a new golf course;
– spending a winter on a course buried under snow;
– publishing a research project;
– working at a low-budget golf course;
– and, being unjustly terminated and struggling to support a family. [12/28/13]

Many golfers claim to putt better on fast greens, but golfers never try to leave themselves with downhill putts. [12/27/13]

Four organizations make no sense, and five are difficult to understand:

– The United States Golf Association encourages sustainable playing conditions, yet the turf shutters when their agronomists gather for tournament preparation;
– The Environmental Protection Agency restricts products from highly trained and educated professionals, yet allows the same products to be used by untrained and misinformed homeowners;
– The United States Wildlife Services Department has thousands of volunteer workers, but fails to manage Canada Geese;
– The Professional Golfers Association Tour desires challenging conditions, but demands finely manicured hazards;
– Golf Course Superintendents exhaust themselves to create ideal putting surfaces, but when perfection arrives, they inevitably punch holes and throw sand. [12/26/13]

To smile at the site of children at play is to understand a reason for daily toil. [12/25/13…Merry Christmas]

Nitrogen is not nitrogen; I say it again, Superintendents apply nitrogen in many different forms, none of which is nitrogen. [12/24/13…thanks Dr. Mills]